It has honestly been a tough couple weeks for me. I feel happy, yet so depressed and alone at the same time. There is not too many people I have left in Chicago anymore. Friends I thought were friends have drifted away, and while while its frustrating perhaps it was inevitable. I can’t be to sad about feeling alone however, because dance is introducing me to a whole new set of friends I thought I’d never have. And it’s quite exciting to say the least. I am honestly so grateful for dance. It has become my safe place. An art where I can express myself and just let go of myself in the studio. Sure, it’s hard and I’m just a beginner on the fast track but my God I haven’t felt a thrill like this in a loong time. Probably not since I was a freshman in high school. A young 12 year old kicking ass on the swim/tennis/volleyball/track teams. Man those were good days haha. So perhaps, I am not alone. And if I am, not for long.
But besides that, I have been looking for a job/internship like a madwoman. It looks like my hardwork might pay off sooner than later. Fingers crossed! School has been going okay. I’m doing much better than I was my first time round at DePaul and I’m having way more fun. School in a weird way is also becoming a safe place for me hahaha. Sorority work, which is probably taking the biggest toll on me right now, is strangely depressing. But that is a story I won’t talk much on any of my social media sites. Because eyes are watching, yes your eyes. And honestly it’s so ridiculous that I can’t fathom putting my thoughts into words haha. But for you the reader, I’ll just some it up into one word: デタラメ. And leave it at that! See? I’m over it already :)
But yes. Times have been stressful lately, but I feel like things are slowly going to fall back into place soon. Not that they weren’t in place already but merely shifted and on shaky grounds. I’ve learned the lessons that life needed to teach me and I feel more prepared to move on into the future.
Like I said, I am just so grateful for everything dance has given me. This is a wonderful opportunity and one that I will not waste. On a lighter note, I should be getting skinnier because of all my dancing but due to my lack of money I’ve been eating McDonalds soo much lately! Jeez!! Hahaha
To take my mind off my worries and celebrate a well earned Friday where I can finally sleep in and relax, I’m watching the final episode of Rich Man Poor Woman with the INCREDIBLY SEXXY Oguri Shun. God damn I love that man. LAAAWWWDD I LOVE HIIIIMMM. And enjoying a well deserved bottle of Pinot Noir. And before you ask- no I do not have proper wine glasses hahaha.
Well thats it for me!
I’m not happy (have I ever been? lol)
But I’m happier!
Life could always be worse ;)
p.s. check out that fucking awesome ass old-school map of the Philippines in the background of my pictures. That issh is from 1989 baby! Proud and Strong Filipina right herre<3